I think I invented this word. And the word itself was a blerg when I tried to talk about combining two things together, and I said ‘sorry I just blerged them’. I also combine the phrase with the interlocking of fingers to show unity. Yeah. I’m very special.
Being a fast talker is a punishment. You have so much to say (although not all of it necessary) and a seemingly minimal amount of time to squeeze those words in. Being excited at the same time…well that’s just torture. You can’t share what you want to say fast enough, and you almost forget to breathe as you are pushing words out of your mouth at speeds that could qualify you for the Olympics if they translated to the barely used muscles in your legs rather than your tongue. That’s where the concept of blerging is in my life, the daily struggle between what is in my brain and the verbal blockage that occurs when those thoughts try to become sound. I stumble. I mumble. I occasionally have to stop to breathe or just to repeat the last three sentences I said because the person I’m talking to has nodded and said yeah 7 times in a row but their face says they have no idea what I’m talking about. And you stick a kiwi accent in there and oh boy…you’ve just lost everyone.
It could be worse. At least I have semi-decent voice projection, so it’s rare for someone to say “I didn’t hear you” and actually mean they didn’t hear me rather than ‘I didn’t understand you’. My flatmate talks in a constant state of whisper. And suddenly it’s my turn to smile and nod 7 times and try to remain in direct visual contact so I can lip read and laugh when she does. What’s worse is that she can be really funny…if you are close enough to hear her. It’s always the quite ones you have to watch out for right?
Everyone, including myself, is back from holiday now so last night was a late night sharing of holiday stories. And my flatmates who had been away for 2 weeks filled me in on their time away in about an hour…and I was away for under 2 days and it took me 3 hours because let me tell you in detail about the time we stopped in at McDonalds and the lady behind the counter tried to charge me $6.50 for a frozen sprite and a cheeseburger and I think I’ve made enemys in the fast food industry and yeah that happened in the first 30 minutes of my holiday and there is still another 46 hours to tell you about if I remember to breathe so I don’t pass out.
Well, at least I know I write how I talk…with as few fullstops as possible. And as for vlogging, well, how much time do you have? Because I have a killer story about the chicken nuggets I cooked for lunch that ended up on fire…if only you could understand it.
Those Who Tell Stories Rule The World 